


thanks for the memories

by i_was_human



Category: Lost in Translation (Webcomic)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Brothers, Estrangement, Gen, Junsu (Lost in Translation) & Kang Dongho | D.Min are Brothers, Kang Dongho | D.Min Rolled a 1 On Communication, No beta we die like mne, dongho is literally ten, tfw you get vibechecked by your ten year old self, the ceo is just, the fucking worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26332546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_was_human/pseuds/i_was_human
Summary: Turns out you learn a lot of things when people aren't actively trying to keep secrets.And boy, does Dongho have secrets.or: MAYHEM learn exactly how messy Dongho's family life is through the lens of a ten-year-old.
Relationships: Ahn Jaewon | Wyld & Kang Dongho | D.Min & Kim Daehyun & Lee Minsoo
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

It starts - as most unfortunate things tend to - at a fansign.

MAYHEM already has a pretty poor track record with fansigns - the tracking spell put on Jaewon's plushie is proof enough of that - but for the most part, they're pretty benign affairs.

For the most part.

Dongho blinks down at the packaged candy in front of him, and he gives the fan a smile, staring at the squishy gummy. "Thank you...?"

"Soyeon," the woman replies, and Dongho stares at her for a moment, a little bit thrown. "You should try some, oppa!"

Dongho fiddles with the packaging for a moment before opening it, popping the gummy in his mouth and giving the fan a gentle grin. "Thank you, Soyeon-ssi."

"How is it?"

"Very sweet," Dongho hums, resting his chin on his hand. "Who's your favorite member of MAYHEM?"

"Ah... you, oppa!"

"Thanks," Dongho replies, giving the fan a quick wink. "Thank you for supporting MAYHEM!"

"You got a gummy?" Minsoo whines, watching as the fan takes her leave. "No fair! I want a gummy!"

"You get chocolate," Dongho points out, and Minsoo pouts.

"Yeah, but I want gummies, too."

"Just tell MAYNIACs - they'll get you plenty."

"But I want them to _know_."

"How...?"

The next fan approaches, and Dongho pushes the encounter out of his mind, plastering a smile on his face as he greets the next fan.

It's just a gummy, after all.

* * *

By the time the fanmeet ends, Dongho just wants to sleep.

Of course, he has a job to do, so he _can't_.

He chugs four cups of coffee as they head to the studio, but even that does little to clear the exhaustion weighing on his mind. 

There's no logical reason he should be this tired. They had a day off yesterday, even.

And yet, he feels like he could sleep for days.

"You look like shit," Minsoo states, and Dongho sighs, taking a swig from his cup.

"Thank you, peanut gallery."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"We have practice," Dongho points out, and Minsoo frowns.

"You look like death warmed over, hyung."

"Are you actually offering to let someone miss practice?"

"Well-"

"You almost murdered Jaewon for missing for a _company meeting_ , and you're going to let me go home because I'm _tired_."

"Are you trying to talk me out of this?"

Minsoo leans forwards, pressing his hand to Dongho's forehead, and he scowls. "You're warm. Go home."

"Fine," Dongho sighs, reaching up to rake a hand through his hair. "Have a nice practice."

* * *

By the time Dongho makes it back to the dorms, he's so tired he barely manages to toe off his shoes before stumbling to bed.

Exhaustion washes over him, and he mashes his face into the pillow, eyes drifting shut.

God, he hopes he's not getting sick.

That would _suck_.

* * *

By the time the others arrive, it's so late it's early.

"Ah," Daehyun whines, massaging his calf, "how did hyung get out of that?"

"You saw him," Minsoo points out, and Daehyun scowls.

"But-"

"Go to bed, Dae."

Daehyun trudges to the bathroom, muttering something about "double standards" and "stupid hyungs", and Jaewon races to his room, the door swinging shut behind him.

Minsoo opts to forego a shower (as nice as it sounds) in favor of passing the fuck out, and when he heads into his room, Dongho's already asleep, a blanket-covered lump on his bed.

Minsoo flops onto the sheets, eyes drifting shut, and he's out before his head hits the pillow.

* * *

"...ahjussi?"

Minsoo groans - both for being woken up, and for the insinuation that he's old enough to be called _ahjussi_ , and who the _fuck_ is even calling him ahjussi, anyways?

He props himself up on his shoulders, blinking at the wall for a moment before turning, and-

okay, what the fuck.

There's a kid standing next to his bed.

Minsoo blinks once more to make sure he's not going crazy, then once more because _surely_ he must be.

No dice.

There's still a dark-haired, dark-eyed kid standing next to his bed.

What the fuck.

"What the fuck," he states, and the kid blinks at him, all but drowning in his oversized shirt.

"That's a bad word."

"Fuck, I- who are you, kid?"

The kid frowns, lips jutting out in a pout. "Are you gonna call my parents?"

"Uh," Minsoo eloquently replies, "maybe? Do you want me to?"

The kid pauses for a moment, apparently thinking, before he shakes his head. "Appa always said if I got kidnapped, I had to find my way home on my own, but you look nicer than the other guys, so can you help?"

Minsoo blinks a few times, still completely thrown, and he reaches up to rake a hand through his hair. "What's your name, kid?"

"Dongho."

 _What_.

The kid stares at him, and now that Minsoo's looking, he can see it - the kid has the same eyes and the same nose as his hyung.

What the fuck.

"Hyung," someone calls, and Minsoo's head whips up just as the door opens, revealing a mostly-naked Daehyun with water dripping from his hair. 

There's a long moment where nobody moves.

Then Dongho kicks Minsoo in the shin and scrambles for the window.

* * *

"So," Dongho states, swinging his legs through the air, "you're my friends?"

"Yeah," Jaewon smiles, and Dongho's gaze flits to Daehyun.

"Does he normally walk around half-naked?"

" _I said I was sorry!_ "

Dongho frowns, though since he's so small, it looks more like a pout. "Where's Su-Su?"

"Who?"

Dongho's frown deepens, and for a moment, Minsoo can see the person he was (is? is going to be?) in the scowl. "Su-Su-yah. My little brother."

Minsoo fucking _chokes_.

"Little brother?" Daehyun asks, and Dongho nods, unruly hair shaking with the motion.

God, he's cute.

"Su-Su. He was with me."

"You never mentioned you had a brother," Minsoo frowns, and Dongho blinks at him, eyes wide and owlish.

"Why?"

Is Minsoo expected to know how the fuck Dongho's brain works all of a sudden?

"I don't know," Minsoo finally replies, and Dongho pulls his legs to his chest, resting his chubby cheek on his knees. 

"...I wanna go home."

Jesus Christ, how old is he?

"How old are you, Dongho-yah?"

"Ten," Dongho frowns, and Minsoo chokes.

 _Ten_.

He's absolutely _petite_.

"Fetus," Daehyun breathes, and Minsoo kicks him.

"Alright. Can you two... watch him? I'm gonna call the managers and figure out what the fuck we're going to do."

"That's a bad word," Dongho repeats, and Minsoo swears to god the kid's smirking.

* * *

_"What do you mean, he's a kid?"_

"I mean," Minsoo replies, gaze flitting to the living room where Dongho's thoroughly engrossed in one of _his_ games (and he will be saving this as blackmail later), "he's ten years old."

_"Are you serious?"_

"Why would I joke about this?"

_"...the CEO's going to want confirmation."_

Minsoo shudders at the thought, gaze drifting to the living room once again. "Does he need to know?"

_"Yes."_

"Then he can come see Dongho-hyung along with the rest of us."

Minsoo just... doesn't trust him. Not near Dongho when he's this vulnerable.

He doesn't doubt Dongho as he _normally_ is could fucking deck the man, but he's seen the way their CEO looks at Jaewon.

Contrary to popular belief, he's no fool.

_"He won't like that."_

"I don't care."

_"Min-"_

"I'm not budging on this, hyung."

A long, drawn-out sigh.

_"I'll see what I can do."_

* * *

"So," Daehyun hums, tossing the controller to one side (he can hear Minsoo's banshee shrieks even without the leader present, and he opts to ignore them), "what's your brother like?"

"He likes art," Dongho mumbles, seemingly withdrawing into some kind of shell. "He likes drawing and stuff, 'n that's not stuff Appa says we can do, so I'm gonna have to learn the business stuff, and I really don't wanna do that."

"What do you wanna do?"

"Dance," Dongho replies, lips curling into a bright grin. "I wanna dance."

Daehyun's heart may ache a bit at the sight of that smile.

Just a bit.

"You dance really well in the future," Daehyun grins, and Dongho's eyes widen, excitement sparkling in his irises.

"Really?"

"C'mere."

Daehyun pats the couch next to him, and Dongho scoots over, curling into Daehyun's side as the blond pulls out his phone. "This is our newest MV," he grins, tapping the video, and Dongho gasps as his face fills the screen.

"Is that really me?"

"Yeah."

"He looks so cool! I look. It's cool."

Dongho frowns, and Daehyun pokes the space between his brows, lips curling into a bright grin. "It's really cool," he assures him, and Dongho perks up, snuggling into Daehyun's side.

Okay, who gave him the _right_?

Daehyun presses play, a grin slipping on his face as Dongho "ooh"s and "ah"s over his future self's "moves", and his heart only warms further as the small boy cuddles into his side.

He's so... _happy_.

So much happier than their Dongho, at least.

Ah, man, now Daehyun's sad again.

* * *

"Where are we going?"

Jaewon almost "aww"s at how cute Dongho is, but refrains in the name of survival.

Dongho - when he returns - won't exactly take kindly to hearing that Jaewon squished his cheeks.

"To the coffee shop my friend works at," Jaewon smiles, and Dongho frowns, gaze flitting to the sky.

"It's almost ten."

"He works late."

Really, Jaewon just needs advice as to what the fuck he's doing.

Thankfully, Jun's still there when Jaewon arrives, though he's just closing up. Jaewon jogs forwards, Dongho following with all the excitement of a child in a candy store, and though Jaewon stops, Dongho keeps going.

"Su-Su!"

Jun turns into a fucking _statue_.

Dongho stares up at him, dark eyes searching, and, apparently satisfied with whatever he's seeing, his lips curl into a grin. "You're so tall!"

"Jaewon," Jun simply states, gaze flitting to the man in question, "what the fuck?"

"A-Ah," Jaewon stammers, pulling Dongho away from the irritated barista, "this is my hyung, Dongho. The managers think there was a magic mishap, so he's ten for now. Dongho- yah, this is Jun-ah."

"Su-yah," Dongho repeats, folding his arms over his chest and squaring his jaw.

"Dongho-"

"You're Junsu-yah," Dongho states, pointing an accusatory finger at Jun. "I know it."

"Dongho-yah," Jaewon tries, gripping the back of the boy's shirt as if that'll in some way compensate for what's happening. "I don't think this is him-"

"...yeah."

"What?"

Jun grins, crooked and broken and _aching_. "Hey, Dongho-hyung."

Dongho grins like Jun's hung the moon, and Jaewon gawps as Jun bends down to show Dongho his sleeve of tattoos.

Is he in the fucking Twilight Zone?

"You're brothers?" Jaewon faintly asks, and Jun shoots him a "we'll-talk-later" glare. 

"I don't talk about him?" Dongho asks, leaning forwards to squish Jun's cheeks. "But he's so cool! We're both so cool! Hey, hey, do I have any tattoos?"

"No," Jun simply replies, standing back up and raking a hand through his hair. "...can we talk at your place?"

"Sure?" Jaewon helplessly replies, and Jun nods. 

"Good."

* * *

Minsoo's not expecting it, per se, when Jaewon enters with another man in tow, but in hindsight, he shouldn't be surprised.

"With _Dongho_?" he shrieks, whisking the child behind his back even as he protests. "What the fuck?"

"You're stupid," Dongho states, and Minsoo squawks as the child steps around him, leaning into the man's side once more. "Besides, this is Su-Su."

The man frowns upon hearing the nickname, and Minsoo's immediately suspicious.

"Jae-"

"He's my friend," Jaewon hurries to reply, and Minsoo's suspicion only grows. "Without benefits. Just friends."

Minsoo still doesn't believe him.

"I'm Jun," the tattooed man states, folding his arms over his chest. "Barista down the street."

Minsoo frowns at him for a moment, gaze flitting to Jaewon. "You're sure he's not your-"

" _No_!"

"Gross," Dongho mumbles, folding his arms over his chest.

"Wha-"

"I have to go," Jun states, and Jaewon stares at him, bewildered. 

"Wha- why? You said-"

"I can't be here," Jun simply replies, and Jaewon watches, mute, as Jun leaves, the door clicking shut behind him.

"...what?" Dongho whispers, and honestly, Minsoo feels the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why did i make dongho and junsu brothers?
> 
> simple answer
> 
> [dongho](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EbAsiBgXsAA9OOq.png)
> 
> [junsu](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EWV1tVBUwAIO3gf.jpg)
> 
> look me in the eyes and tell me they couldn't be brothers


	2. Chapter 2

"Jun-ah?"

"Go _away_ , Jaewon."

Jaewon, because that's just the way he is, takes a seat next to him.

Jun fixes his gaze on the street, watching as a car roars by. He's not going to start this, and Jaewon isn't going to start this, so really, it's a nice compromise.

"...what happened?"

Hm.

He's been proven wrong.

"None of your business," Jun simply replies, because fuck if he's going to spill his entire life story to someone who's done nothing but lie to him.

"...are you really Dongho-hyung's brother?"

"Would I lie about that?"

Jaewon falls silent, and Jun wrinkles his nose. "No. He's my older brother. Biologically."

Really, in truth, Dongho hasn't been family for a _long_ time.

"Biologically?"

"He's a pretty shit brother," Jun mutters, fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "You don't mind."

It's a statement, not a question, but Jaewon nods regardless.

Jun presses one between his lips, holding the flame of his lighter to the end, and he takes a long drag, exhaling a cloud of smoke. "He hates that. Always hated the tattoos and smoke and _independence_. Never liked the idea that I would do my own thing."

Jaewon thinks about the little boy so excited to see Jun's tattoos, and wonders _what went wrong?_

"He's just like Dad," Jun mutters, tapping his cigarette against his knee. "A sanctimonious coward, too afraid to push too hard in case someone sees how fucking _disgusting_ he is under the surface."

Jaewon flinches, but doesn't contradict him.

"He cheated on my mom," Jun hums, taking another drag. "My dad. Still does, probably. Never any love there. They're fucking shit people. First Mom and Dad, then Dongho."

"What do you mean?"

"Always told me to stop drawing," Jun mutters, irritation flashing in his eyes. "Said it was a stupid dream, said I should go into business, said so much fucked-up shit that I'd be here all day trying to repeat it. You know they're homophobic?"

"...what?"

"Brought a boyfriend home once, and my old man threw a pot at my head."

Jun takes another drag, exhaling another cloud of smoke. "Two guesses whose side Dongho took."

"..."

Jaewon doesn't reply.

Good for him.

"Fucking bigots," Jun mutters, crushing the cigarette on the bench. "Fuck all of them."

"...isn't he still your brother?"

Jun stands, eyes dark, and he folds his arms over his chest, irritation evident. "No."

"But-"

"Blood only means as much as you let it."

With that, Jun strides away, leaving Jaewon to sit on the bench, paralyzed by the younger man's words.

_What?_

* * *

"Ha!" Minsoo crows, watching as Dongho's character plummets off the cliff. "I win!"

"Are you proud of yourself?" Dongho asks, and for a moment, he sounds exactly like the Dongho Minsoo knows.

(he misses him. misses him a lot.)

"Yep," Minsoo grins, reaching over to ruffle Dongho's hair. 

Dongho dodges the moment with practiced ease, turning his attention back to the television, and he only seems to realize what he's done when Minsoo's gaze doesn't move from the place Dongho's head was instants prior. "What?"

"Why do you do that?"

"Don't like it," Dongho replies, and Minsoo _knows_ that's not true.

"...'kay."

The doorbell rings, and Minsoo sighs, placing his controller on the ground and heading for the door. "Yeah, yeah, coming..."

He pulls it open, and the CEO's familiar, greasy face greets him. 

"Oh," Minsoo flails, unsure of how to greet him. "Ah, CEO-nim-"

"Where's Dongho?"

Minsoo does _not_ like that smile.

"In the living room," he finally replies, and the CEO pushes past him, a sick sort of determination in his eyes. "Ah, sir-"

"Dongho-yah!"

The boy's head pops over the back of the couch, and he pales, gaze shifting to Minsoo. "Ah-"

"You weren't lying," the CEO states, and Minsoo shivers upon seeing the look in his eyes. "Do your parents know you're here, Dongho-yah?"

"No," Dongho murmurs, then quieter, "please don't tell them."

Minsoo's _never_ seen his hyung this afraid of anything, and it's _terrifying_.

"You know I have to," the CEO grins, and Dongho shakes his head, desperation shining in his eyes. 

"They'll- they'll be mad at me, and though I'm thankful for your help, I just- I can get home alone."

"I'll help you."

"No," Minsoo cuts in, moving forwards to place himself between the boy and his boss. "You're not taking him anywhere."

The CEO's eyes narrow, and Minsoo sucks in a breath, trying to ignore the fear pulsing in his chest. "What are you accusing me of, Lee Minsoo?"

"He didn't do anything," Dongho protests, and _oh_ , he's so small - if he were himself right now, Minsoo would have no qualms, but this small and defenseless, he's not going to let him out of his sight - "he saved me!"

What.

"What?"

"The last time," Dongho states, as if that should be common information. "Park-ssi saved me!"

No.

Minsoo doesn't like this at _all_.

"Shut up," the CEO hisses, and Dongho falls silent. "I'm going to take him back to his parents."

"You aren't taking him anywhere."

"How _dare_ you talk back to me?"

"Hyung," Dongho begs, tugging on Minsoo's sleeve (and _oh_ , it's strange to hear such a high voice call him "hyung", so strange to have _Dongho_ call him hyung) "I'll go with him. It's okay."

"You're not going anywhere."

"Technically," the CEO states, greasy grin widening, "this is kidnapping."

"But they're nice!" Dongho blurts, as though that makes a difference.

And, well, Minsoo supposes it is.

"They're not like the other guys," he continues, voice small, and Minsoo digs his nails into his thighs.

"What other guys?"

 _God_ , what Minsoo wouldn't give for Dongho - _his_ Dongho - to walk through the door and order the CEO out.

As it is, Minsoo has no bargaining chip.

No way to get him away.

 _Nothing_.

"Ah... CEO-nim..."

The CEO's gaze flits to the door, where Jaewon's toeing off his shoes. And _oh_ , Minsoo sees that look again - disgusting, predatory, _awful_ \- and he wants to vomit.

"Wyld," he crisply greets, and Jaewon nods, stuffing his hands in his pocket. 

"A few cameras caught me on the way back," he murmurs, quiet enough that Minsoo can barely hear him, but once he does, the leader's filled with _rage_.

"You _led them here_?"

"No!" Jaewon protests, eyes widening in horror. "I would _never_ -"

"When hyung's like _this_?" Minsoo continues, gesturing at the paralyzed child next to him. "What were you _thinking_?"

"I'll discuss this with Wyld," the CEO states, and Jaewon nods, short and jerky.

Oh, Minsoo thinks - it's a distraction.

His anger doesn't ebb.

The pair leave, and by the time the door clicks shut, Dongho's curled into a little ball on the floor, pathetic sniffles emerging from his crumpled form.

Minsoo has no idea what the fuck he's doing.

"Dongho...?" he ventures, bending down to place a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I thought he was gone," Dongho sniffs, reaching up to scrub his eyes. "I thought- I thought- they said- they said he'd never-"

"...what happened?"

"He... he took me from the other guys," Dongho whispers, face pressing into his knees. "So... so he's a good person, b-but..."

"But?"

"I don't like him," Dongho gasps, tears dripping off his chin. "He- he scares me."

Minsoo leans over, pulling Dongho into his side, and the child (because that's what he is right now, a _child_ ) curls into his side, tears seeping into Minsoo's jacket.

"I don't like him," Dongho sobs, voice thick with tears, and Minsoo pulls him into his arms properly, letting Dongho sob into his shoulder. "I don't-"

"It's okay," Minsoo soothes, and Dongho shakes his head.

"I'm- I'm being stupid, but- but I don't- I don't like him-"

"That's okay," Minsoo assures him, and Dongho shakes his head once more.

"Appa- Appa always says that even if I don't like him, I have to be nice to him, but I don't- I don't _want to_. I don't-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Minsoo whispers, running his fingers through Dongho's hair.

(this is what minsung did for him. when they were kids and minsoo had a nightmare that kept him up - minsung would crawl into bed with him, and he'd run his fingers through his hair and promise that nothing could ever touch him as long as he was there.)

"Nobody's going to touch you," he breathes, pressing his lips to the crown of Dongho's head. "Hyung- hyung promises."

Dongho turns, giving Minsoo a blinding smile, and he reaches up to wipe the tears off his cheeks, a pathetic sniff ringing through the air. "Thanks, hyung."

He curls back into Minsoo's chest, and the idea comes to him in a flash.

"Pillow fort!"

* * *

When Jaewon gets back home, it's criminally late.

He toes his shoes off at the door, raking a hand through his hair. That was... a genuinely unpleasant meeting.

"Ssh!" someone hisses, and Jaewon's gaze flits to the living room - or, well, what _was_ the living room.

A massive conglomeration of sheets, blankets, and pillows fills the space, a little flag sticking out of an arbitrary point. It's a pillow fort, and Jaewon can imagine Minsoo and Daehyun helping tiny Dongho build it, draping blankets just so and listening to his whims.

It's adorable.

"Is anyone here?" he calls, a teasing hint to his voice. 

Faint giggles, muffled by the blankets. 

"Ah, I guess I'll just have to go to bed-"

"No!" someone calls, and Jaewon blinks as Dongho flies into him with all the force of a particularly enthusiastic cat. "We're here! You have to come join us!"

"Us?"

Daehyun waves at him, a bright smile on his lips, and Minsoo pokes his head up behind him, waving a chip bag in invitation.

Well, when they phrase it like _that_...

"Of course," Jaewon grins, and Dongho grabs his hand, tugging him towards the blanket fort with lips set in a pout.

He crawls under the blankets, eyes widening as he takes in the inside.

Lamps barely illuminate the space, vague areas set out for sleeping and cards and snacks strewn across the floor. Dongho practically vibrates with excitement as Minsoo deals the cards, and Jaewon grins, picking up his hand.

It's a wonderful night. Jaewon honestly can't think of a word other than _wonderful_ for it - it's just that indescribable version of _incredible_ he can't quite put into words. 

Maybe it's from the time Minsoo saddles Daehyun with a +44, and Daehyun shrieks, leaping across the fort to tackle Minsoo into the couch.

Maybe it's from the time Dongho somehow manages to hide an ace in his sleeve (insane child) and crushes them all in poker.

Maybe it's because when the lights are out and the apartment's silent, Dongho curls up between Jaewon and Minsoo and whispers, in a voice small and feather-light, "does my older self tell you he loves you?"

("...no," minsoo whispers back, and dongho frowns, curling into the leader's side.

"he should. 'cause... 'cause i love you a lot, and he must feel that way, too."

jaewon-

isn't sure what to do with that information.)

* * *

When Dongho opens his eyes, he's sitting on a dock.

The dark ocean laps against the wood, stars painting the sky, and if he squints, he can see a large figure sitting near the edge, gazing out into the endless sea.

"Hi!" he grins, plopping down on the dock next to him. "You must be future-me!"

His future self squints at him, unimpressed, and Dongho pouts. "You're _mean_."

"..."

"And so quiet," Dongho continues, swinging his legs through the air. "I'm you. You don't hafta be so quiet."

Still no reply.

"Why're you so quiet?"

"...you wouldn't get it, kid."

"Try me," Dongho challenges, and his future self laughs, a short, bark-like thing.

"I just got... vibe-checked from the universe, I guess. God, I sound like Minsoo."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Minsoo's an idiot."

"But he's brave."

"It's easy to be brave when you don't have two brain cells to rub together."

"What are you so afraid of?"

His older self falls silent, gaze dropping to his hands. "...I don't know. A lot of things."

"Well," Dongho grins, swinging his legs through the air as he tips his head back, "there's always a place to start. Maybe... maybe it's just doing something you're a little scared of. Maybe it's opening up a bit. Maybe it's doing something you're a lot scared of, like punching Mr. Park in the mouth."

"You wanna do that?"

"He's creepy," Dongho whines, and his older self grins, soft and fleeting.

"I don't blame you, kid."

"Live in the moment," Dongho advises, leaning against his future self's arm. "Take some risks."

"I'm an idol."

"Take risks anyways!"

His future self's lips quirk into a grin, and he reaches up to ruffle Dongho's hair, something halfway between pride and grief in his eyes. "You're a smart kid."

"I know."

Darkness starts to fall over the dock, lights winking out one by one, and his future self withdraws his hand, gaze drifting once more to the sea. "...thanks."

"You're me," Dongho hums, leaning into his future self's arm. "And besides, this was really cool."

As the lights wink out, he swears he can hear his future self laugh.

* * *

When Minsoo opens his eyes, he's immediately assaulted by _sensation_.

Someone has their nose buried in his hair, an arm tossed over his stomach and legs tangled with his. Their breath tickles the back of his neck, and he frowns, leaning over to try and see who it is.

Dongho.

Minsoo resigns himself to the fact that _not only is tiny Dongho gone_ (a tragedy) but Dongho's also cuddling him, and this is probably the last time they're going to be in the same room together without Dongho speed-walking the other direction, so he shuts his eyes and lets himself drift away once more. 

Not being alone is a nice feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baby ho... is just the Best................


	3. Chapter 3

"Dongho-"

"We're not talking about it."

Dongho's pencil skids across the paper, his hair pushed out of his face with a headband, and Minsoo sighs, taking a seat by his side.

"What are you working on?"

"Spanish workbook."

"Why?"

"Who knows if we'll go to Brazil or Spain?"

It's a distraction method, Minsoo knows, so he doesn't comment on it.

"...you got kidnapped before?"

"We're not talking about it."

"We can't just _not talk about it_."

"Yes, we can. Very easily, actually."

"We're talking about it."

Dongho's eyes spark with irritation, and he slams his book shut. "You're not going to let me work, are you?"

"We just found out you got _kidnapped_ ," Minsoo emphasizes, "and that you and the CEO apparently have history? And that you have a whole _brother_ you never mentioned!"

"Did it ever occur to you that _maybe I didn't mention them for a reason_?"

"Why?"

"Because you'd look at me like this," Dongho simply replies, reopening his book. 

"Look at you like what?"

"Like you _pity me_."

"I don't pity you!"

Dongho shakes his head, pencil sliding across the page. "You're lying."

"It's true," Minsoo insists, stuffing his hands in his pocket. "I don't pity you."

"Then what is it?"

"I'm just... curious."

"Curious about what? My 'traumatic backstory'?"

"What happened?"

Dongho shakes his head, lips pursing into a fine line. "You don't need to know."

"We're _friends_!" Minsoo insists, eyes sparking with sadness. "It's not- it's not _about_ needing to know! I just- why did you keep this from us?"

"I already told you why."

"I just- why can't you trust us enough to tell us the truth?"

"It's not- it's not _about_ trust."

"Then what is it?"

"It's because I'm _not that person anymore_."

The point of Dongho's pencil presses into the workbook, and Minsoo winces at it makes a hole in the page. "That person isn't me anymore, and I want to put that behind me."

"But you were _happy_ -"

"I was a _fool_."

Something in Dongho's eyes turns bitter, and he shakes his head. "It doesn't matter. I'm not the same person as I was back then."

"...was being that person really such a bad thing?"

"Yes," Dongho simply replies, ducking his head to stare at his book. "It was."

* * *

"What happened between you two?"

"You already know," Dongho mutters, gaze pinned on his phone. "You don't need me to tell you."

"I want to hear your side."

"Does that make you feel better? Being on the 'moral high ground'?"

"It's not about making me feel better."

"Who are you trying to convince, Minsoo?"

"What are you trying to hide?"

Dongho clicks off his phone, stuffing it in his pocket and leaning against the railing. "You want the truth?"

"Of course," Minsoo replies, and Dongho's lips twist into a parody of a smile.

"I told Junsu-yah he should 'stop this phase and just listen to our parents'."

Minsoo stills, and Dongho sighs, gaze drifting to the sky.

"I think I believed it, back then. My parents said it so much, disapproved of Junsu's decisions so much... I thought they were right. I thought this was like the tattoos or the drugs. 'Course, I was wrong, but... I believed it back then."

"Hyung-"

"I took my parents' words as gospel for years," Dongho states, idly tapping the railing to a beat in his head. "Thought they were always right. And by the time I realized they weren't, it was too late."

"...shouldn't you try and talk it out with Junsu-yah?"

"The only thing we'd talk about is forgiveness," Dongho murmurs, exhaling clouds into the frigid air. "And I don't deserve for him to forgive me."

"...you're afraid."

"Probably," Dongho grants, gaze flitting to the distant lights. "I recently came to the realization that I'm perpetually living in a state of panic, though, and I'm not entirely sure what to do with that information."

"Really?"

"Everything I'm doing is uncharted ground," Dongho replies, twisting his hand in a slow circle. "Getting turned into a kid, becoming an idol, making new friends... talking to you, now."

"This is new for you?"

"Talking without pretenses," Dongho clarifies, and Minsoo frowns.

"That's sad."

"It can be argued that my whole life is sad."

"All of it?"

"..."

Dongho exhales once more, clouds of condensation forming in the air. "My parents didn't pay ransom, you know."

"What?"

"They had a spare," Dongho explains, resting his shoulders on the railing. "I didn't realize that was why until a lot later, but that was it. They had Junsu-yah still. I should've hated him for that, but I didn't."

"Why?"

"He's my brother."

Dongho pauses, then laughs, something short and bark-like. "That doesn't mean anything, actually. Not now. But back then, it did."

Minsoo...

Minsoo understands.

Back when he and Minsung were still close - back when they still played games and laughed and _talked to each other_ \- Minsoo would've said that being a brother was all it took.

But now...

"...I get it."

"I thought you would."

Dongho exhales, casts his gaze over the city. "He always had different dreams than me. Junsu-yah, I mean. I just... never tried to look at them."

(in this moment, in this instant, cut off from the rest of the world, Minsoo can see the most painful bit of Minsung in Dongho's eyes.

and in this moment-)

"You remind me of my brother."

Dongho's lips quirk into a parody of a grin, and his fingers wrap around the railing. "You remind me a bit of Junsu."

Minsoo sidles over, bumps Dongho with his shoulder. "You can be my honorary older brother. A better one."

"I'm a pretty shit brother," Dongho mutters, and Minsoo shrugs.

"Yeah, kinda. But I'm used to shit brothers, so 's okay."

"That's sad," Dongho points out, and Minsoo shrugs once more.

"We're both sad. We can be sad together."

"...that doesn't sound terrible."

"And besides," Minsoo continues, drumming his fingers on the railing, "have you tried apologizing?"

"I don't-"

"-deserve forgiveness, yeah, yeah. But I don't think that's your choice to make, is it?"

* * *

Jun sighs, raking a hand through his hair as he casts his gaze over the counter. There's too many people for this time of day, and he would kill a man for some help.

Ah, well.

He still has to man the register.

"What can I get you?" he asks on autopilot, gaze drifting up to the man's face.

Oh, _fuck_ no.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing here?"

"Can we talk?" Dongho asks, and Jun barks a laugh at the _fucking audacity_.

He comes up to Jun, while he's _at his job_ , working harder than Dongho's probably worked a day in his _fucking life_ , and wants to talk.

Well-

never let it be said Jun isn't smart.

"Help me with these orders, and we'll talk."

Either Dongho says no and walks the fuck away, or Jun gets an extra set of hands.

He's a _genius_.

"Alright," Dongho states, and Jun blinks, thrown. "What do you need me to do?"

When Nari comes back, she nearly has an aneurism at the sight of _Kang Dongho_ standing in her shop, taking orders with a _Coffee Temple_ apron on and Jun throwing periodic glares over his shoulder. 

To her credit, it's a surreal image.

Still, they manage to get through the entire wave of people, and Jun's about to slip out the back when someone grabs his wrist.

It's Dongho.

Of fucking course it's Dongho.

"What do you want?" he snaps, and Dongho's expression doesn't change as he leans against the doorframe.

It's almost certainly going to be a critique, a demand for Jun to come home, for him to break up with Taehyuk, for him to change his entire life on another's whims once again-

"I want to apologize."

What?

"You fucking _what_?"

"I want to apologize," Dongho repeats, and Jun flails for words for a moment before gesturing around himself as if to indicate some nonexistent point.

"Well, then, _apologize away_!"

Dongho exhales, reaching up to rake a hand through his hair. "...I'm sorry for everything, Su-"

"Jun."

"Jun-ah. There are things I can't take back, and things I can't fix, but if I could fix them, I would. I can't think of more to say than _I was wrong_ , and that's not enough at all, but it's all I can say."

"...that's the worst fucking apology I've ever heard."

"I expected that."

"You took eight years for _that_?"

"..."

"Oh, no-no-no. I see how it is. You only started thinking of this yesterday, didn't you?"

"..."

"You _did_. Oh my _fucking_ god."

Dongho can't meet his eyes.

"You fucked me up for _years_ ," Jun spits, "and you _only now_ decided to think of apologizing. You and Mom and Dad- you have _no fucking idea_ how much that hurt. Having all of you tell me that what I liked was wrong, that _who_ I liked was wrong, that I was wrong and had to change every part of myself to fit in a box I was never going to fit in- you have _no fucking idea_. And now that I'm _finally_ happy, you have the fucking _gall_ to walk in here and demand my forgiveness?"

"I'm not expecting you to forgive me."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I had to at least try."

Jun's eyes narrow, and he stuffs his hands in his pockets. "You had to _try_."

"I had to try," Dongho repeats, and the worst part is that he seems to _mean it_.

"You had to try. You had to _try_ not fucking up your brother's life. Just a little _test run_."

"I had to try apologizing."

"For _what_?" Jun all but screams, throwing his arm out to try and make Dongho understand what he's done. "For fucking- for almost _ruining my life_? You _can't apologize for that_ _, Dongho_ , and _nothing_ can make up for that."

"I know."

"Then _why are you here_?"

Dongho opens his mouth, then shuts it.

"You know, when I saw you," Jun starts, voice laced with venom, "I wanted to tell you to get the fuck out of the store. So I'm going to say it now. _Get the fuck out_."

Dongho pauses for a moment, looks about to say something, but dips his head and leaves.

And Jun-

darkly appreciates it.

"What was that?" Nari asks, leaning in to stare at Jun, and the latter shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Just some old business I had to take care of."

"Old business like... an ex-boyfriend?"

" _Ew_. God, no."

* * *

Minsoo raises his head as the door clicks open, gaze landing on a nonchalant Dongho.

"Went bad?"

"Mhm."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Mm."

Minsoo raises a controller, lips curling into a grin. "Wanna see if you're any better at Mario Kart?"

"I was _fine_ , you dick," Dongho mutters, but he takes a seat next to Minsoo regardless.

As it turns out, Dongho as an adult is, unfortunately, better at Mario Kart.

Minsoo chalks it up to his stupidly big hands. 

Still, it's _nice_. It's _nice_ sitting next to Dongho and playing games, it's _nice_ just hanging out, it's _nice_ just existing with someone like this.

It's nice, and Minsoo missed it.

He blinks as Dongho's kart (Princess Peach, surprisingly) shoots across the finish line first, and he throws his controller to the ground, tackling Dongho to the carpet.

"No fair! You cheated!"

"How do you cheat at Mario Kart?" Dongho asks, and Minsoo lets out a war shriek, slamming a pillow over Dongho's face. "Hey-"

"Victory!" Minsoo shrieks, and Dongho sighs, throwing his hands up in mock-surrender.

"You win, oh mighty warrior."

"Ha," Minsoo grins, flopping on top of the eldest. "...wanna call the others and get dinner?"

"You do it."

"Wha- _why me_?"

"You're lying on top of me."

Minsoo rolls off him, and Dongho sighs, casting a forlorn gaze towards the ceiling.

"Now what's your excuse?" Minsoo grins, and Dongho sighs once more, rolling over to fish his phone out of his pocket.

"...fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~where are jae and dae? idk maybe going shopping or something~~
> 
> you don't have to forgive family members. jun is 100% valid in his choice.
> 
> wow i am doing good with the aesops lately

**Author's Note:**

> [twit](https://twitter.com/i_was_human_) | [lit fic discord!](https://discord.gg/CNunB74)


End file.
